Are You Eating?

It is pretty obvious that I have dropped a significant amount of weight in the past year.  I have been “big” for the majority of my life, so I am sure that seeing less weight on me can be a bit jarring.  The less weight on me, the more prominent other features become.  Not just to me, but to others.  For me, I can see the slight outline of my hip bones; for others, they see the slimmer figure and the definition in my face.

While it is nice – and a bit flattering – to have others notice, the noticing from others can be a hassle for me.  I feel that the negative comments or concerns outweigh the positive ones.  I understand and even appreciate the concerns, but sometimes I wish that I would get praise more often.

The following is a list of things of what I wish people would know right away upon seeing me for the first time after a while:

1) Yes, I have lost weight in the past year.
2) No, I am not starving myself.
3) Please do not tell me to “eat” as if I’m don’t do so.
4) No, I am not as thin as you are trying to make me out to be.
5) Yes, I am counting calories – but I am also exercising to be healthy.
6) No, I am not doing this for anyone BUT myself.
7) YES, I AM EATING.  Just because you don’t see me doing it doesn’t mean I’m NOT eating.
8) No, I am not “too skinny”.  There is meat on my bones, but it’s just not as much as you’ve seen.
9) Yes, I am at a healthy weight, because I know what my range should be.
10) Just because I am concerned about my calories does not mean I am starving.
11) What I did to lose the weight was eat healthier and exercise more.  I pushed myself.  It’s really not that difficult.
12) 1200 calories is NOT “too little” if you eat and exercise right.
13) Just because I may pass on the sweets or the extra helping of food does not mean that I am doing that to “stay skinny”.  I’m doing it because I most likely don’t need it nor do I want to eat it.
14) And please, for the love of all that is holy, do not tell me that I “need to eat more” if I tell you that I am full.
15) I indulge once in a while but I do not go overboard.
16) If I express concern or even disappointment in how I’ve eaten/how I haven’t exercised/how I’ve overeaten, please do not tell me that I don’t need to worry about it.  This is important to me and saying that to me tells me that you think what I’m doing isn’t necessary.  While it may not be necessary for you, it is to me.
17) I’m not “dieting”.  Dieting is a short-lived solution. This is my life; I chose it.  I’m happy with it.

Sunday Weigh-In (05/20/2012)

Current Weight, as of 11 AM 05/20/2012: 137.1 lbs.
BMI (according to National Heart, Blood and Lung Institute): 22.5 (normal)
Pounds lost since last weigh-in: --~~~~
Goal Weight: 125-130 lbs.


Oh dear.  


Instead of losing any weight, I managed to gain almost two pounds.


I'm not going to lie; I am really disappointed in myself this week, but I know that I only have myself to blame.  I had a really fattening (but delicious) meal last night.  I went to bed knowing how it would affect me in the morning and, let's face it, the rest of the week.


It's put quite a damper on my mood today.  I know that I am blowing things out of proportion, that the two pounds will most likely be gone in a few days anyway, but still.  It is still disappointing.


I have been reminding myself that I am just getting started on this whole thing again and that it wasn't easy last time, either.  The motivation and drive to do this is there and realistically, I know that dramatic results don't just happen.  It's gradual and requires patience.  It also requires me eating better and exercising more.


Speaking of exercise, I have started the "Couch to 5K" program!  I have done two days so far and I really enjoy it.  I've always been envious of those who could jog or run for long periods of time, and hopefully this will get me that much closer to doing it myself.  I do enjoy jogging and feel a huge sense of accomplishment when I can run for at least a mile.  I'm eager to see the results of this; if I can run 5K, it will be a huge success on my end.


I plan on tweaking my work-outs a bit more this week so hopefully we'll see a change next Sunday!

Mid-Week Update (Wednesday, 05/17/12)

I haven't been as consistent this week as I'd like to.  I didn't log yesterday and today I am over my allotted calories by 500 -- all because I gorged during lunch.

I'm trying to remind myself that this was anything but easy last year; it took a lot of hard work, dedication and motivation to lose the weight I did.  I know that I have to be patient, but smart about my choices, and I am trying to get myself to the motivated state I need to be in.  All I want to do is get down to at least 130 lbs., with 125 lbs. as my ultimate goal.

However, I have been exercising, minus yesterday!  I'm trying to get back up to jogging comfortably again, and I hope to continue it once I get back to Chicago!

Sunday Weigh-In: 5/13/12

Current Weight, as of 11 AM 05/13/2012: 135.6 lbs.
BMI (according to National Heart, Blood and Lung Institute): 22.2 (normal)
Pounds lost since last weigh-in: --~~~~
Goal Weight: 130 lbs.


Aaaand it begins once again.

Back on Track!

Alright.  I will admit that I let my health and fitness slip quietly by the wayside these past few months.  I know that I previously mentioned that I have not gained much back -- thank God -- but I know how quickly the pounds can pile on if I am not careful.

This past week was especially bad -- my family was visiting me, which meant food.  A lot of it.  Stuffed pizza, indulgent breakfasts (waffles, anyone?), etc. etc.  I gave myself the poor excuse of, "Well, it's vacation, so I'll be lax on what I eat.  I'll be walking around a lot, anyway."  I really should have watched my intake more carefully, but I didn't.

Thus, I am starting over with my fitness journey today.  No, I am not trying to drop another 20 pounds; I'd like to get back to my goal weight of 130, actually.  I'm pushing for 125 just to prove to myself that I can do it, but I am content at 130.

So, until I hit my goal, I will be going back to what I was doing a year ago -- Sunday Weigh-Ins and Midweek Updates, with some other random entries thrown in here and there.  This whole blogging deal is satisfying the need to write and journal in me, so expect more random entries than before.

~~~

I wanted to make note of the fact that it's been a little over a year since I made the decision to lose weight and get back into shape.  It was the best decision of my life.  It took dedication, portion control, calorie counting, and a huge heap of motivation to get through it.  I knew my goal, how to get there; all I needed to do was to do it.

And I did it.  

The benefits have been amazing.  My asthma is very much under control -- I can go a few days without using my inhaler now!.  I am no longer classified as "overweight", but "normal".  I can shop in the non-plus size section of the store.  I can fit into size 7 jeans (for certain brands).  I no longer look at photos of myself and think, "Jesus, I'm fat."  

But more importantly -- and this may be TMI for some -- my period is regular.  For the first time in 16 years, I have had a monthly period without the help of birth control.  It's like clockwork now -- every 32 days, it comes.  The period tracker on my iPhone helps me keep track of it, and thus far, has not failed to predict it.

Having a regular period is very, very exciting for me.  Why?  Because it means that I will most likely be able to have kids in the future if I keep myself at a healthy weight.  My biggest goal in the world is to be a mother.  I want kids -- at least two of them.  Over the past few years, I worried about not being able to have children because of my irregular periods.  I was diagnosed as having PCOS and took birth control pills to help regulate myself, though I knew that it was mostly artificial.

I worried.  Boy, did I worry.  Especially as I approached my mid-20's; I wanted to start having kids when I turned 30, after I established my career (or, at the very least, had a steady job).  I wanted to be healthy and comfortable when I had kids.  I wanted to know that my body was on track, so the irregular periods was not reassuring.

But it's back and I am happy to see it every month, especially since it is without any aid from pills.  I fully believe it was because I got myself to a healthy weight.  It is why I am so adamant on keeping myself within this weight range and why I want to keep myself as healthy as possible.  Though I know this doesn't guarantee that I'll get pregnant easily, it is exciting to have it happening anyway.

Okay, back to my lazy Sunday.  I'll post another post shortly. :)