Rambleramblerah

There's a lot going on in my little corner of the world.

Have you ever had times where things just hit you? Not physically -- but mentally?

It's been happening to me now for a few weeks. It's like, one realization hit. Then another, and another, and it snowballs. There have been moments lately where I am sitting on the train (because I'm, y'know, a city dweller now!) and boom! ka-pow!, something hits. It takes nearly all of my strength to not fall over from the impact, even though it's all in my head. It's a sobering experience, to say the least. I haven't had too many of these over the years, but they've been intense lately.

I hope I can one day say what I've been thinking of ... it just all makes sense, now. I just want to talk it out, fix things, sort things out. I've become more of a talker the past few months, and honestly, I think it's because of the career I'm going after. I need to be able to speak.

In other news, I have major papers coming up and I am already worn out. However, I find myself oddly excited to do school work! I don't particularly like watching myself on video (*cringe*) but I do enjoy writing.

Thank goodness my first year of grad school is done soon and then I'm on vacation for a month. I need a break, I tells ya! It will be nice to be home for a few weeks. I miss California, but I am starting to fall deeply in love with Chicago, especially now that it's spring. I have a renewed appreciation for this beautiful city. It's just ... sigh. Amazing.

I was inspired to do some creative writing earlier because of a song that I was listening to. That used to happen to me often, actually -- I'd be listening to a song and have an incredible itch to write something. I can't describe the feeling that I get, but I know there are people out there who've felt it. It's this energy within that you swear will kill you if you don't let it out. I've had it happen when I want to write a story or when I want to write a song (which hasn't happened lately unfortunately).

I've been fighting sleep lately for no good reason except that I don't feel like sleeping. My body wants to but I'm stubborn.

However, on that note, I'm going to bed. I am highly aware of how rambly this entry is.